I'm back and I have to stay here...

Today I woke up and weighed 200.6. I weigh myself everyday so this isn't a shocker but I vowed to myself that I would never get over 200 or 190 or 185 again when I got the band. I have been eating awful, drinking with eating just so I can eat more and eating slider foods. This has to stop. I'm miserable today. Even my fingers feel swollen. I'm feeling very defeated and frustrated. I think my band is at a good level but I'm taking advantage of it. No more. I will get back to 175 as soon as my body allows me. But I will do the work. There is no reason I should weigh this much with the tool that have in my body. Please send positive vibes my way. I can do this!