yes, i am alive and need to give blogging a real "go."

ahhhh. i have been gone too long and we all know what that means in lap band blog land...i gained weight.

yes, this morning i weighed 197.8. i am so upset and feeling so frustrated lately. i am going to look at today as a new day.

the interesting thing is that i am at a great fill level. able to eat protein, drink a lot of water and not feeling hungry BUT i am still eating. i guess these past few weeks, i have realized that i do have a problem with food. i mean, i always knew that but lately it has really come to the forefront with me.

• i am eating when i dont need to eat
• i am eating slider foods just becuase i want to
• i am eating at night when i am half asleep
• i am eating crap just because it tastes good
• i am eating to comfort myself
• i am drinking when eating just so i can eat more

obviously all of these things indicate my addiction to food. i use it as a vice and i am so over it now. i got the band so i can overcome these things and i am back where i was 3.5 years ago. feeling frustrated and hating my body. i hate this feeling.

so, with all of that being said, i am back! i have been still reading blogs but i am reading blogs but not commenting. i have to really try this blogging thing and hold myslef accountable. IT HAS TO BE DONE.

who hates feeling fat in the summer? this girl. and i will start today and hopefully start the fall season on a better note than today.

so with being back, i am logging my food, reading, writing and commenting on blogs and getting back on the work out train.

that is it. today i will regain control and work towards a healthier me.

monday, june 24, 2013

breakfast
coffee with sugar creamer (measured it and everything) 30 calories
1/2 cup of cottage cheese with chives 110 calories

lunch
1/2 of trader joe's reduced guilt chicken poblano meal (it was disgusting) probably about 100 calories
1 cup of mixed berrries 80 calories
1 banana (1 tablespoon of peanut butter) 280 calories

dinner
had a couple of grapes before my plan of egg beaters and avocado  and got stuck on a grape...ugh-so last night was a liquid kind of night for me).

total calories was low approximately 720 or so.